I am a Chameleon

The Chameleon

Sometimes you see me; then you don’t.

I know the tricks for blending in.

My color’s bright,

A glowing hue,

Changing with your point of view.

My awareness, truly keen

Makes me be sure

I’m seldom seen

Unless, unless it’s safe for me-

Safe to be all I can be.

In surroundings where no threat

Causes me to fade and hide,

Filled with doubts

And deep despair,

Not quite belonging, anywhere.

If you will see me as I am

Then I can let you come inside

Into a place

Where you can find

The treasures of my hidden mind.

I’ll share my secret world with you,

Tell you my dreams,

My thoughts, my plans.

And then, at last,

Perhaps I can

Know who it is I really am.

by Ellen Dove Fiedler

and I add…to RM:

I let you in to that place

told you all my dreams

opened wide my heart

and was all that I ever could be

-and when it all was said and done

I was even too much for you.

Betrayed by a friend that

encouraged me to stage

and when finally the spotlight

was full upon my monologue -

grace was not to be found.

For

I opened my eyes and the

auditorium was empty.

Business questions

“Taking an idea from one business meeting and developing it another capacity is not good business practice.”  That’s some advice that someone gave me about the absolute mess that happened this summer.

I don’t understand this comment.  There isn’t anything new under the sun so if you’re not directly competing with someone why is taking an idea from one partnership and developing it on the side wrong if the partner has broken ties with you?

There five plumbers in my small town. If a person has a friend who is a residential plumber and they admire that person and decide to be a commercial plumber, does that upset the first plumber? How can there be more than two of anything, then?  Where does one draw business boundary lines.

I really am at a loss for understanding this.  And I’m really not a threat, I just want people to be in community for the greater good – can’t we work together? Beside, I’m like a sponge with information by the time I’ve processed what I think I want to do like you I’ll have no time to implement before I get obsessed with the next shiny thing I find.

Can all ya business people out there please explain? Because it seems like I’m missing something.  I keep finding myself in positions where people feel like I’m taking what is theirs. I don’t want their stuff, I want community.

Success

What is it to be successful?

To fulfill a calling?

It’s a relentless whisper on the wind

that howls your name

But the end that beckons

eludes you and slips into time.

One pathway shrinks into darkness

and the other winds into itself.

We fall and

Their promises mean nothing…

Because, it’s not about us.

Where I’m at…

I could say that I feel this way or that

but those are only feelings aren’t they

Feelings that don’t make or break reality

My heart is heavy with fear.

Am i ready yet…to be a leaf.

Is it time, will it ever be?

The dramatics of my life have created a

MESS and

I’m addicted, like anyone else to the rush

of the roller-coaster ride.

Pushing and pulling with the force of

pride until here I stand.

Alone.

Manipulating solidarity.

Critical Deception

It’s 4am.  Suddenly I’m awake filtering the contents of the previous day.  Time for my mental beating.  Really…can I stop beating myself up. I have some sick thing that draws me to publicly and privately criticize myself. I think it’s … Continue reading →

A poem on pride

My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of you God-given destiny…because you demand your own way. I cheat you of contentment…because you “deserve better than this.” I cheat you of knowledge…because you already know it all. … Continue reading →

Criticism

So, it’s kinda hit me as I’m still reflecting on what my friend told me about coming across a certain way to others. The person said that I, “come across in my writing as arrogant.” I’ve pondered this for almost … Continue reading →

Confession

Hard words of a trusted friend are a kiss. Damn, I’ve been a fool. When you ask people to pray with you for your humility, expect one hell of a lesson. Truth is hard to look at in the face. … Continue reading →

Unfold by Marie Digby

This song is exactly where I am at right now: What I can remember Is a lot like water Trickling down a page Of the most beautiful colors I can’t quite put my finger Down on the moment That I … Continue reading →

Insecurity II

Insecurity rears its ugly head.  I’m dealing with this huge right now.  I have put my trust in people and things that cannot guarantee me any stability.  People die, they change their affections, they have their own troubles, and they … Continue reading →